Why Smart Women Are Soothing The Sting Of Romantic Rejection And Come Back Feeling Stronger

No one likes getting rejected, but it’s a part of life. If you’re struggling with how to handle romantic rejection, know that you’re not alone. It can be tough, but there are ways to come back feeling stronger.

Everyone is prone to rejection, and each one of us is vulnerable to more of it thanks to the way we interact with each other. Thanks to social media and dating apps, you are connecting with more people than ever before. That creates exponentially more risk for you in your everyday life.

Rejection isn’t just in the form of minor rejections, but also for more major events such as when your spouse leaves you. Painful rejections like these can be paralyzing. Research show that we always experience pain when rejected, but our tolerance to rejection can either intensify or alleviate the pain.

For every successful actor or actress, there are countless numbers who don’t make it. The name of the game is rejection. You go to an audition and you’re told you’re too tall or you’re too Irish or your nose is not quite right. You’re rejected for your education, you’re rejected for this or that and it’s really tough.

Liam Neeson

Even for the few who made it to the top of their game, the name of the game is still rejection. Nicole Kidman was rejected by Jimmy Fallon. What? Well, it is public knowledge now, but Nicole had a crush on him when she was single and went to his house thinking it was a date. 

Years later, they are both married with kids, and in a live interview she came back with her interpretation of that hurt which is now where it belongs, in the past.

The greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted. Just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.

You have heard that love is respect but there is a new generation of smart women who actually know that love starts with self respect. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s because they don’t deserve you or simply they don’t realise they are worthy of your love.

Like Nicole, give yourself a short time to acknowledge the hurt and feel the pain. Briefly. It’s okay to cry and grieve the loss of what could have been. Focus on taking care of yourself. Indulge in what makes you feel happy and vibrant, spend time with positive people. When you love yourself, others will see your worth too.

In a more recent live interview last year, we all enjoyed Nicole’s confidence and the hard time Jimmy gets with every new interaction between the two of them! This story never gets old…

And, no, rejection doesn’t manifest in your life at a ‘certain’ age. Rejection enters the door of your heart, showing it’s ugly head long before you are mature enough to know better.

Tom Felton told everyone that he see Emma Watson “in a younger, sisterly way,” when he totally knew she had a crush on him when she was just a kid.

‘Tom Felton just broke my heart. It still does.” Emma said in an interview when she revealed the secret scandals of the Harry Potter film set.

You have heard that love is respect but there is a new generation of smart women who actually know that love starts with self respect. If someone doesn't want to be with you, it's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because they don't deserve you or simply they don't realise they are worthy of your love.
(L-R) Tom Felton, Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Matthew Lewis attend the premiere of “”Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2″” at Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center on July 11, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage)

What does rejection activate in your brain?

Evolutionary psychologists believe that our brain is designed to respond to rejection the same way we respond to pain. Countless research and scientific experiments are showing that social rejection is similar with pain.

Scientists placed people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection. It was no surprise that he same area of the brain was activated when you experience rejection as when you feel physical pain. Of course it goes way back, when individuals were more likely to stay in the tribe and pass on their genes then being excluded from the tribe and die.

When rejection is powerfully elicited—by having people who recently experienced an unwanted break-up view a photograph of their ex-partner as they think about being rejected—areas that support the sensory components of physical pain (secondary somatosensory cortex; dorsal posterior insula) become active. We demonstrate the overlap between social rejection and physical pain in
these areas by comparing both conditions in the same individuals using functional MRI

Ethan Kross

Rejection has a negative effect on your emotional well-being, mood, self-esteem and need for human interaction. The emotional consequences are usually much worse than the original rejection itself. Most people give up on themselves and feel even worse about themselves after rejection. This is detrimental to their mental health and should not happen, but we all have gone through it. The difference is made by the way you are soothing the string of any kind of rejection to come back stronger.

There are ways to prevent unhealthy responses to rejection to elevate your self- esteem and stay conscious of your self-worth. There are ways to face your emotions and move on to positive experiences.

Creativity is one of the most powerful tool you could have at your disposal. Panting, writing are healthy ways to acknowledge rejection briefly and focus on what you have already, to curb the unhealthy the self-inflicting reaction to rejection, soothing your emotional pain, re-imagine yourself and rebuild your self-esteem.

No one likes to be rejected, but it’s a fact of life. How you deal with rejection can make all the difference in how you feel for the rest of your life. We interviewed a group of smart women who shared with their own experiences and how they come back stronger soothing the sting of rejection every day

Acknowledge your feelings briefly

If you’re feeling hurt, disappointed, or embarrassed after being rejected, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings. Trying to stuff them down will only make them come out in other ways, like anger or depression. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of what you wanted, and then move on.

Don’t take it personally

It can be hard not to take rejection personally and it’s not always about you. The person who rejected you may have their own issues or baggage that had nothing to do with you. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out why they said no; just focus on what you can change about yourself, not others .Remember that rejection is not a reflection of who you are as a person. It’s simply a matter of compatibility and sometimes things just don’t work out.

Learn from your experience

If you were rejected because of something you did or said, try to learn from the experience so you can avoid making the same mistake in the future. Maybe you came on too strong, or maybe you said something that offended the other person. Whatever the case may be, try to use the experience as a learning opportunity.

Keep your head up

It’s easy to get down on yourself after being rejected, but it’s important to remember that one rejection does not define you as a person. There are plenty of other people out there who would love to be in a relationship with you, so don’t give up hope.

Have zero tolerance for self- criticism

Focus on your positive qualities. When you’re feeling down after being rejected, take some time to focus on your positive qualities. What do you like about yourself? What do others like about you? reminding yourself of your good points can help you feel better about yourself and increase your confidence.

Spend time with supportive people

Spending time with supportive friends and family members can help you feel better after being rejected. These people will help you see the positive side of things and remind you that you’re a great person, even if one person didn’t see it.

Do something to make yourself happy

Doing something that makes you happy is a great way to boost your mood after being rejected. Maybe there’s a hobby you’ve been meaning to start, or a place you’ve been wanting to visit. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something that will make you feel good about yourself.

Be inspired by other women who dealt with rejection with grace

Finding the right person can take time, so don’t get too discouraged if you don’t find someone right away. Be patient and keep putting yourself out there; eventually, you’ll find someone who’s perfect for you.

Rejection can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s important to remember that every no gets you closer to a yes. If you’re feeling down about being rejected, take some time to read through some of the success stories of your favorite women. Chances are, they’ve all experienced their fair share of rejection before finally finding success. Use their stories as motivation to keep pushing forward and eventually, you’ll get the yes you’ve been hoping for.

It’s never easy to deal with romantic rejection, but it’s something that we all have to go through at some point in our lives. The important thing is to not let it get the best of us and to come back stronger than ever before. Here are some tips on how to do just that:

Use it as motivation. If you’re feeling down about being rejected, use that as motivation to prove to yourself (and the person who rejected you) that you’re worth fighting for. Show them what they’re missing out on by working hard and achieving your goals.

Rejection is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. The most important thing is to respect yourself and have confidence in what you have to offer. If someone doesn’t see that, it’s their loss. It’s also important to remember that not everyone will react the same way to rejection. Some people may get hurt and feel pain, while others may come back feeling stronger than ever. The most important thing is to stay true to yourself and don’t let rejection change who you are.

Why smart women are coming back stronger after soothing the romantic rejection sting

We’ve all been there before. We put ourselves out there, whether it’s asking for a promotion at work, trying to land a new client, or going on a first date. And we get rejected. It feels like a personal slight, and it can really sting.

Be a smart woman! Acknowledge the hurt briefly and move on! It’s okay to feel disappointed and even angry. Allow yourself to have those negative emotions, but don’t dwell on them, self infliction is what really hurts your feelings. Don’t beat yourself up over what could have been. You have done your part, move on, gracefully.

There is an energy that comes with every hurt and you could use it as a motivation, let is be the springboard to come back even stronger. Use it as a reminder of why you’re doing what you’re doing. And use it to fuel your determination to succeed.

The next time you’re feeling down after a rejection, remember Nicole’s story and come back even stronger than before. Have no tolerance for self criticism.

Rejection is never easy, but it’s important to remember that it’s not always personal. There could be any number of reasons why someone says no to you, and it’s important to keep that in mind. Otherwise, you run the risk of taking rejection too personally and letting it get to you.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. But try to remember that the next time you’re feeling down about being rejected, it might not be about you at all. And even if it is, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you’re not good enough. Everyone gets rejected. It’s just a part of life. Keep things in perspective and remember that rejection is not the end of the world. You’ll be okay. And who knows? The next person you ask might say yes.

There’s no doubt about it, rejection hurts. But it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In fact, some of the most successful people in the world have been rejected many times before they finally made it. Is it possible to overcome the sting of rejection and come back feeling stronger? Every “no” brings you closer to the YES! you deserve!

Dr Marina Nani
Dr Marina Nani

Editor-in-Chief of Rich Woman Magazine, founder of Sovereign Magazine, author of many books, Dr Marina Nani is a social edification scientist coining a new industry, Social Edification.
Passionately advocating to celebrate your human potential, she is well known for her trademark "Be Seen- Be Heard- Be You" running red carpet events and advanced courses like Blog Genius®, Book Genius®, Podcast Genius®, the cornerstones of her teaching.
The constant practitioner of good news, she founded MAKE THE NEWS
( MTN) with the aim to diagnose and close the achievement gap globally.
Founder of many publications, British Brands with global reach Marina believes that there is a genius ( Stardust) in each individual, regardless of past and present circumstances.
"Not recognising your talent leaves society at loss. Sharing the good news makes a significant difference in your perception about yourself, your industry and your community."

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