I wish I knew : 10 Wisdom Tips for Adult Children

Much like an acorn turning into a towering oak tree, life is a chain of changes throughout the seasons of your life. In your younger years, you are that acorn — full of potential, yet small and unaware of the immense growth that lies ahead. With time, seasons of change and the right conditions, you begin to take root, growing taller and stronger, weathering storms and reaching toward the sky. But just as an oak tree doesn’t grow overnight, neither does wisdom or understanding of what truly matters in life.

As I sit here reflecting on the years gone by, I find myself wishing someone had shared with me the wisdom tips I’m about to share with you. These aren’t just reflections on growing younger ( you can read “older” but I feel younger every day); they are insights that I’ve gained through trial, error and a lot of soul-searching. I didn’t always have the perspective I have now and I hope that in passing this wisdom to you, it might make your own journey through midlife — and beyond — a little easier, a little lighter and a lot more joyful.

1. Take care of your body Now, not later

It’s easy to think you’re invincible when you’re young, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to care for your body early. A widow with three children, I never had the time to understand this and now I wish I had started earlier. Staying active, eating well and getting enough sleep are investments in the quality of your future. The health struggles I experience now are often a reminder of the years I didn’t prioritise my health.

What I Wish I Knew: You don’t have to be a gym fanatic, but do something every day that gets your body moving. Your future self will thank you when you’re able to keep up with your grandchildren or travel the world without limitations.

2. Don’t wait for the “Perfect” time — it never comes

So many of my dreams, both big and small, were put on hold because I thought I needed to wait for the perfect time. The perfect time to travel. The perfect time to learn a new skill. The perfect time to prioritise myself. Looking back, I realise now that life never really gives you a perfect moment — you have to create it yourself.

What I Wish I Knew: Whatever it is you’re putting off, stop waiting. Life is happening now, and it’s more fleeting than you realize. Embrace your dreams while you have the energy and the passion to pursue them. The one skill that will serve you best, is learning to take this imperfect moment and make it perfect.

3. Cultivate friendships and cherish healthy relationships with total strangers, including yourself

In midlife, you may start to notice that friendships can slip away as family and career take priority. But I can tell you, it’s your relationships — not your job, not your house, not your accomplishments — that will bring you the most joy in your later years. The bonds you make now are the ones that will support you when life’s challenges inevitably come.

“The idea that fewer friends can equate to greater strength goes against the grain of our social media-driven culture, but science and real-world examples suggest it’s true. It takes emotional maturity, confidence and a clear understanding of one’s values to choose depth over breadth in relationships. Fewer friendships don’t signify weakness or social inadequacy; they are often a testament to a person’s strength, self-awareness and understanding of what it takes to maintain deep, authentic connections.”

Dame Neslyn Watson-Druée, DBE, is celebrated as one of the most iconic personalities in leadership mastery. If you ever heard her speak, perhaps her voice is still with you, guiding you in your dark hour… In her latest book she brings a fresh psychological perspective on building relationship skills and experience joy. This is not just another book but exactly what I experienced throughout my life being her friend.

What I Wish I Knew: Make time for the people who matter, even if it’s hard to fit it into your schedule. Be the one who reaches out, be the one who forgives and be the one who nurtures your friendships. It’s worth the effort.

4. Your career doesn’t define you

For many years, I tied my identity and self-worth to my career success. I pushed myself hard, believing that success in the workplace would bring me the validation I needed. But over time, I realised that your career, while important, is just one part of your life — it doesn’t define you.

What I Wish I Knew: Prioritise your family, your passions and your mental health just as much as you do your work. Your job will come and go, but your inner happiness and the time spent with loved ones are irreplaceable.

5. Practise gratitude every day

I didn’t start practising gratitude until later in life and I wish someone had told me earlier how powerful it can be. Gratitude changes the way you see the world and yourself. Even on my toughest days, when I find something small to be thankful for — the warmth of the sun, a kind word from a stranger — it shifts my perspective from within.

Every day I find a new place in my heart to place a new Thank you. There are many people, total strangers, who remind me to be grateful for knowing them. Sandra is one of them. She inspires me to cross social conditioning boundaries and trust my inner voice. Thank you Sandra!

Gratitude won’t erase your struggles, but it will remind you that there is beauty and goodness in every day. Above all, it will help you accept that you have the strength to challenge any struggle.

What I Wish I Knew: Start a gratitude journal, or simply take a moment every day to reflect on the good in your life. You’ll be amazed at how it can transform your outlook, especially during difficult times.

6. Embrace Change — it’s inevitable

Change is the only constant in life, but it took me a long time to understand this fully and embrace it. I used to resist change, holding on to what felt comfortable and familiar. But the truth is, resisting change often creates more stress and pain. Embracing it, on the other hand, opens doors to growth, new experiences, and unexpected joys.

What I Wish I Knew: Change is the only constant in your life. Instead of fear to change, whether it’s a new phase of life, a change in your career, or a shift in your relationships, trust that with change comes new possibilities and with possibilities comes wisdom and resilience.

7. You’re never too old to start again

One of the biggest myths society tells us is that there’s a cut-off for starting over, whether it’s switching careers, pursuing a passion, or rethinking your life’s direction. I’ve learned that life is full of new beginnings, no matter your age, as long as you allow it. When I said at the beginning of this article that I am getting younger, I knew some people could laugh or dismiss the thought altogether. The simple truth is that I feel getting younger every day, and this is a choice I am happy to make every day. Sometimes, some people will try to tell you that you are in denial, but if in doubt, start looking for evidence. Personally I have very close friends who inspire me to get younger every single day.

What I Wish I Knew: Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself, have a 2.0 version. We are trained to see what is, which leaves us with no energy or time, for what is possible to be. The second (or third, or fourth) season of your life might just be the best one yet, should you be ready for it. Be brave enough to walk away from what’s no longer serving you and embrace the unknown with confidence.

8. Learn to forgive — others and yourself

Holding on to grudges, resentment, or past mistakes can weigh heavily on your spirit. It took me a long time to realise that forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook — it’s about freeing yourself. This goes for forgiving yourself, too. None of us are perfect and it’s the mistakes that help us grow. Actually, I would say that the correct spelling of mistake is miss-take. Ask yourself: can you really forgive others if you can’t forgive yourself?

What I Wish I Knew: Let go of the need for perfection. Offer forgiveness, even when it’s hard and extend that same grace to yourself. Life is too short to carry unnecessary burdens. Make a choice to get over it and move on. The question to ask yourself could be: Where do I go from here?

9. Invest in yourself — you’re worth it

Whether it’s time, energy, or money, investing in yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. For decades, I put everyone else first — children, work, family — and forgot that I also needed nurturing. But I’ve learned that taking time for yourself makes you stronger and abundant- more capable of giving to others.

What I Wish I Knew: Take that class. Go on that solo trip. Pamper yourself occasionally. You can’t pour from an empty cup and the healthier and happier you are, the more you’ll have to give to those you love. Here is when I am asking you one thing: learn to say ‘No’. The sooner you understand what serves your purpose, the sooner you will feel good and happy every day.

10. It’s Okay to ask for help

I used to think asking for help was a sign of weakness. I would struggle in silence, believing I had to do everything on my own. But I’ve come to understand that true strength lies in recognizing when you need support and being brave enough to ask for it.

What I Wish I Knew: Don’t hesitate to lean on your family, friends, or professionals when you need help. Whether it’s emotional support, career advice, or just a listening ear, asking for help will make you stronger, not weaker.

Closing Thought: Life is Shorter Than You Think

One of the greatest lessons ageing has taught me is how precious time is. It moves faster than you expect, and none of us know exactly how much we have left. So, don’t wait to live your life fully. Love deeply, forgive easily, laugh often, and don’t be afraid to chase the dreams that light up your soul.

As I reflect on my own journey through the many stages of life, I see now that the lessons I’ve learned — some through lasting joy, others through temporary hardship for which I am equally grateful— are like the rings of an oak tree, each one a testament to growth. These are the lessons I wish someone had shared with me when I was your age, when I was still that acorn trying to find my way. My hope is that by passing them on to you, I can help you stand taller, root yourself deeper and grow into the magnificent tree you are meant to be.

I didn’t know all these things when I was in midlife and I made plenty of mistakes along the way. But if I can pass anything on to you, it’s this: Live your life intentionally, with love, kindness, and a little bit more daring. If you do, I promise you’ll age not only well, but happily.

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