Learn to Say No! to Relationships That Consume Your Energy

This morning, as I went to talk to my plants, the air was crisp with a lingering chill, reminding me that no winter survive spring. And there they were, tiny blue petals scattered like whispers across the earth. Forget-me-nots. Delicate, unassuming, yet impossibly beautiful.

I hadn’t planted them this year. I hadn’t tended to them, hadn’t watched over them. And yet, here they were, returning on their own, blooming in the same quiet corners where they had grown before. It struck me, standing there, how much these flowers remind me of the most beautiful relationships that truly matter. The ones that don’t demand attention but never fade. The ones that, even when you aren’t looking, continue to grow.

Choosing Relationships that Build You Up

Choosing who surrounds you isn’t about being selective just for the sake of it but about protecting your energy and who you become.

Some relationships feel like wild, untamed vines, beautiful in their own way, but unpredictable, consuming and sometimes suffocating. They grow quickly, wrap around you and before you realize it, they dictate the shape of your life. Others are like forget-me-not flowers, delicate but enduring, quietly weaving themselves into your world with a kind of grace that never demands attention but always leaves an imprint.

When you choose relationships that nurture your purpose and add value—not just to your life, but to others—you are planting forget-me-nots. Small but resilient, they symbolize a love that isn’t just about presence but about legacy. They don’t demand grand gestures. They don’t need constant tending. Yet, year after year, they return, a reminder that the relationships built on intention, mutual growth, and shared values are the ones that endure.

There was a time when I thought relationships were meant to be all-consuming, that love and friendship had to be big, intense, overwhelming in order to be meaningful. But I’ve come to understand that the most valuable relationships are often the ones that don’t ask you to lose yourself. They allow you to stand tall in your own purpose while offering shade, support, and quiet companionship along the way. These are the people who believe in your vision, not because it benefits them, but because they want to see you thrive.

Like forget-me-nots, these relationships don’t steal the spotlight, but they are unforgettable. They are the conversations that leave you feeling lighter, the encouragement that strengthens your resolve, the presence that reminds you of who you are when the world feels heavy. They exist without competition, without comparison. They flourish not because they are forced, but because they are rooted in something real.

And just like planting flowers, choosing these relationships requires nothing but honestly. It means letting go of the ones that take more than they give. It means nurturing the connections that uplift, that challenge, that inspire, even if they don’t always come wrapped in immediate gratification. It means choosing people who see you—not just who you are today, but who you are becoming.

When you surround yourself with people who align with your purpose, who add value to your life while you add value to theirs, you create something lasting. A garden of shared dreams, of quiet support, of mutual respect. And like the forget-me-not flowers, these relationships don’t just exist in the moment—they leave a legacy, long after the season has passed.

Learn to Say No! to Relationships Consuming Your Energy

I used to think relationships needed your energy to be meaningful. That love, whether romantic or platonic, had to be demanding, intense, all-consuming. But as I’ve moved through life, I’ve come to see that the most valuable connections, the ones that nurture your reason for being, align with your purpose and add depth to your humble existence, are often the ones that grow quietly, consistently, without demanding your undivided attention. Like these tiny flowers, they appear when you need them, return when you least expect them, and leave an imprint long after they’ve gone.

Looking at them now, I realize how much you choose the relationships that shape your lives, just as you choose what you plant in your garden. Some take over, some require endless care, some bloom only for a season. But the ones that matter, the ones that truly last, are the ones that root themselves deeply in shared beautiful memories and values, mutual respect and quiet love.

And just like forget-me-nots, they remind you that some places, some people, are unforgettable. Not because they were the loudest, but because they were true.

For a very long time, I held on to relationships out of habit, out of history, out of some sense of duty that had nothing to do with what I actually needed. I tolerated conversations that drained me, showed up for people who never really showed up for me and mistook relationship’s longevity for loyalty, believing that just because someone had been in my life for years, they deserved to stay.

But then, something shifted. Maybe it was the new found freedom to think for myself, maybe it was the luxury of solitude, maybe it was the realization that I was building a life with intention in every other way, why wouldn’t I do the same with the people I allowed into it?

I started paying attention to how I felt after spending time with certain people. There were the ones who left me feeling lighter, clearer, more inspired. The ones who spoke about ideas instead of gossip, who encouraged my self-discovery instead of openly attacking it or subtly undermining it. The ones who saw my potential not as a threat or a competition but as something to be celebrated.

And then, there were the others taxing my energy, the ones who left me exhausted, who carried a cloud of negativity, who only reached out when they needed something, who never seemed to celebrate my wins but always had time to dissect my struggles.

It was an uncomfortable truth to face, but a necessary one: not all relationships are meant to last forever. Some come into our lives to teach us something, to serve a purpose for a season and then they reach their natural end. Holding on past that point doesn’t make us kind or loyal; it makes us stuck. And I didn’t want to be stuck.

Letting go didn’t happen overnight. It was subtle at first, like a polite knock on the door, a shy awareness followed by a clear recognition of where I was giving more than I was receiving. Somehow, it became visible where I was dimming myself to make someone else feel more comfortable.

I started pulling back, setting boundaries, saying no when something didn’t feel right. Not in anger, not in confrontation, but in alignment with my reason for being. And as I did, something incredible happened: my world become bigger, with room for the right people, for relationships that add value to my life purpose.

The friendships that remained, the ones that deepened, were the ones built on mutual respect and genuine support. Conversations became richer, filled with encouragement and possibility. I stopped feeling like I had to shrink myself, stopped second-guessing whether I was “too much” or “too bold” or “too different.”

And that’s when I realized the difference between relationships that consume your energy and relationships that nourish your purpose. Some people keep you company, but others fuel your potential. Some relationships give you comfort, but the best ones open new possibility into the unknown.

I used to think it was selfish to step away from relationships that no longer served my divine purpose. Now I see it differently. It’s not selfish to choose people who inspire you, who uplift you, who challenge you to become the best version of yourself. It’s necessary. The relationships you choose shape who you become.

I intend to inspire you to become someone people will remember, someone un-forgettable. When you want, there is more in my latest book “Forget Me Not Journal.”

There is something profoundly grounding about relationships, not just in the nostalgic sense, but in the way it roots us in our humanity. So much of life moves at a relentless pace, urging us forward, demanding our attention. But in the quiet act of reflection, we reclaim a part of ourselves that might otherwise slip away unnoticed.

Do you want to share your story and inspire our readers ? Know that  YOUR EXPERTISE is paving the way for a fairer, happier society.