How to Feel Good and Happy: 8 Tips to Keep Every Day a Good Day
Our ability to feel good seems to fluctuate based on external events, but what if we could learn how to feel good no matter the circumstances? Science and psychology reveal that we can cultivate emotional resilience and maintain positive emotions even on difficult days.
You’re having a great day. Everything feels right—the sun is shining, you’re in a good mood and things are falling into place. Then, out of nowhere, something goes wrong. A disappointing email, a rude encounter, or an unexpected setback threatens to unravel your joy. How do you hold on to that sense of well-being when life throws its usual curveballs? When people or events seem determined to spoil your day, is it still possible to feel good, no matter what?
The answer is yes—and science shows us how. Even when things don’t go as planned, there are strategies we can use to maintain our happiness and keep that good day from slipping away.
This article will explore evidence-backed strategies for feeling good and happy in contrasting circumstances, supported by research and real-world applications.
How to feel good and happy in any circumstances
Some days are bright, filled with joy and a sense of well-being, while others can be marred by stress, uncertainty or sadness. Our ability to feel good seems to fluctuate based on external events, but what if we could learn how to feel good no matter the circumstances? Science and psychology reveal that we can cultivate emotional resilience and maintain positive emotions even on difficult days.
The Science of Happiness in a conflicting world
Happiness and emotional well-being are complex, yet researchers have identified key factors that influence how we feel. Studies reveal that about 50% of our happiness is determined by genetic factors, while 10% is influenced by external circumstances, and the remaining 40% is within our control, according to research by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. This means that while circumstances do play a role, we have substantial power over how we feel through our actions, habits, and mindset.
How Thoughts Shape Feelings
The way we perceive situations has a powerful impact on our emotions. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), a widely used therapeutic approach, emphasizes the idea that it is not the events themselves that cause emotional distress, but how we interpret them. This concept aligns with the findings of a 2016 study from Stanford University, which showed that individuals with a growth mindset—who believe that challenges are opportunities to learn—reported higher levels of emotional well-being, even in stressful situations.
Here are my 8 tips for maintaining your good vives and positive feelings regardless of external circumstances:
1. Shifting Focus to the Positive
Gratitude is a simple yet powerful tool for cultivating happiness. Research shows that practicing gratitude can significantly improve well-being and satisfaction with life. A 2003 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who kept a gratitude journal and wrote down things they were thankful for each day experienced a 25% increase in happiness after just 10 weeks.
Practical Tip: Start each day by writing down three things you are grateful for, even on tough days. Focusing on the positives—even small ones—can shift your mindset and improve your mood.
2. Emotional Regulation: Managing Stress Effectively
On difficult days, emotions like stress, anger, and sadness can overshadow positive feelings. However, learning emotional regulation techniques can help prevent negative emotions from spiralling. One effective technique is deep breathing, which has been shown to reduce stress levels and promote calm.
A 2017 study from the University of Southern California found that slow, deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps lower heart rate, reduce cortisol (the stress hormone), and bring about a sense of calm.
Practical Tip: When feeling overwhelmed, pause for a few moments and practise slow, deep breathing. Inhale for four counts, hold for four and exhale for four. Repeat several times to feel more centred and at peace.
3. Exercise: A Natural Mood Booster
Physical activity is one of the most effective ways to boost mood. According to the American Psychological Association, even brief bouts of exercise release endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. A meta-analysis published in 2018 found that exercise was just as effective in reducing symptoms of depression as conventional therapy.
Practical Tip: On challenging days, take a brisk 10-15 minute walk outside. Even a short walk in nature or fresh air can have immediate mood-boosting effects.
4. Good Social Connections and Friendship
Humans are social creatures and research consistently shows that social connection is key to emotional well-being. In fact, a study by Harvard University concluded that strong social relationships were the strongest predictor of happiness and life satisfaction. During tough times, reaching out to others can provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation and boost mood.
Practical Tip: Call or message a close friend or family member for a quick chat, even if it’s just to share something light or funny. Social connections, even in small doses, can help lift your spirits.
5. Embracing Contrasts: Understanding the Yin-Yang of Emotions
It’s essential to remember that contrast is a part of life. Just as we can’t fully appreciate light without knowing darkness, difficult emotions can enhance our experience of joy. According to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory, positive emotions help broaden our thought-action repertoire, making us more creative and resilient, while negative emotions narrow our focus to help us deal with immediate threats. Both serve valuable purposes, and embracing emotional contrasts can lead to greater resilience and an overall sense of balance.
Practical Tip: When faced with a tough situation, rather than resisting negative emotions, try to observe them without judgement. Ask yourself, “What is this emotion trying to teach me?”
6. Mindfulness: Letting Go of Control
Mindfulness—the practice of being present and accepting things as they are—has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and depression. A study published in the journal Emotion demonstrated that individuals who practiced mindfulness experienced greater emotional stability and were less reactive to negative stimuli. By accepting what we cannot control, we can stop fighting against circumstances and instead find peace in the present moment.
Practical Tip: Spend a few minutes each day practising mindfulness meditation. Focus on your breath or the sensations in your body, allowing thoughts and emotions to come and go without judgement.
7. Optimism: Reframing Challenges
Optimism—the belief that good things will happen in the future—is strongly linked to well-being. A 2019 study from the University of Michigan found that optimists are not only happier but also live longer. Optimism can help individuals reframe challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles.
Practical Tip: When faced with a challenge, ask yourself, “What is the best possible outcome?” Visualise positive solutions rather than focusing on worst-case scenarios.
8. Writing to Make Every Day a Good, Happy Day
While we cannot always control external events, we have the power to choose how we respond to them. By cultivating a positive mindset, practising gratitude, regulating our emotions, and connecting with others, we can feel good even in the face of contrasting circumstances. Whether it’s a bright sunny day or a stormy one, these scientifically-backed strategies can help you create a sense of well-being that transcends life’s inevitable ups and downs.
As psychologist Viktor Frankl wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” The key to feeling good isn’t in what happens to us, but in how we choose to experience and respond to the world around us.
Writing has always been a powerful tool for me, especially in navigating the difficult, often contrasting emotions that come with traumatic events. When the world feels chaotic and out of control, journaling provides a space to bring order to my thoughts—a place where I can reflect, process and make sense of what I’m experiencing.
In times of trauma, emotions can feel overwhelming, often ranging from deep sadness to flashes of anger, confusion, or numbness. For me, writing became a way to give these emotions a voice.
On paper, you don’t have to pretend to be okay or push your feelings aside. You could be brutally honest about what you are going through, whether that is fear, grief or uncertainty. The act of putting your thoughts into words allows you to confront your pain without the pressure of explaining yourself to others. Writing is a space that belongs entirely to you—free of judgement and expectations.
The contrast between feeling isolated in trauma and finding a voice through journaling is profound. Trauma has a way of making you feel disconnected, both from yourself and from others. In a world that often demands strength and composure, writing offered me a safe harbour to embrace vulnerability. Studies have shown that expressive writing can reduce emotional distress and I found this to be true. The more I wrote, the more I could untangle the complexities of my emotions and regain a sense of control over my inner narrative.
What I discovered through writing is that while trauma creates stark contrasts—between what life was before and what it is now, between hope and despair—writing bridges those gaps. It helps you reconcile the contradictions. Journaling helped me acknowledge that both pain and healing can coexist. It reminded me that even in the darkest times, there is space for reflection, growth, and, eventually, renewal.
In a world full of contrasts, where joy and sorrow, strength and vulnerability often collide, writing became my compass. It didn’t erase the trauma, but it helped me navigate through it and leave it behind me. It allowed me to document my journey and, in exchange, helped me find my way back to myself.
Do you want to share your story and inspire our readers ? Know that YOUR EXPERTISE is paving the way for a fairer, happier society.
