Finding North When the Unthinkable Happens: Spark Strength to Thrive During Conflict

The unthinkable has happened. The conflict was beyond your control, yet here you are—left to face the aftermath alone. You’re at the end of your rope, uncertain about what comes next and the disappointment feels like an unshakable weight. The stress has affected your health, stolen your sleep and left you feeling powerless. When life throws you into a situation this difficult, you might wonder: How do I keep going, and where do I go from here? How do I find my strength and my sense of self?

When facing overwhelming conflict and chaos—whether it’s from a fractured relationship or turbulent world events—there are ways to ground yourself and reclaim your well-being. Writing is where I found my north. I write by hand most of the time and every sentence sparks my strength to thrive.

Setting compassionate boundaries, fostering positive vibrations and centering yourself in the present moment are choices you can make to navigate this painful chapter with resilience. Read on to discover science-backed solutions to find calm and protect your inner peace, no matter how turbulent the world around you.

I remember asking myself: How did it come to this? When everything falls apart, you may find yourself asking this question in disbelief, feeling like life just upended your world in a way you never thought possible. The shock, the heartache, the overwhelming sense of loss—it’s like standing in the eye of a storm with no idea how to escape or what to do next. When control is ripped from your grasp and the future feels dark and uncertain, the weight of it all can feel unbearable.

You can find calm even as the storm rages on. Neuroscience offers a way to rebuild your sense of strength and reclaim your inner strength. Read on to discover how you can navigate these challenging times and restore balance to your life, no matter what has happened.

Maintaining alignment and well-being during global conflicts or toxic relationships starts with a few key strategies grounded in psychology and neuroscience:

Focus on High-Vibration Emotions: Emotions like gratitude, compassion and joy have been shown to promote physiological calm and enhance resilience. Practicing gratitude or loving-kindness meditation can help counteract the stress responses triggered by external conflicts or challenging relationships​​.

Set and Communicate Boundaries: Boundaries are crucial for protecting mental energy and preventing emotional burnout. Communicating your needs clearly and respectfully creates space for well-being without engaging in constant conflict. Research supports that well-maintained boundaries contribute to a greater sense of safety and self-respect in challenging dynamics​​.

Learn to Respond instead of Reacting: Remaining open and curious—even in disagreement—can reduce the “fight or flight” response. Positive, receptive language encourages others to respond more calmly, helping to de-escalate conflicts and foster understanding​​.

Ground Yourself in the Present: Mindfulness techniques, like writing or meditation, shift focus from uncontrollable external events to personal peace. This grounding practice is shown to reduce anxiety and improve emotional stability, helping you stay centred no matter what is happening around you​​.

Do you have the patience to wait till mud settles and the water is clear?
Navigating the most difficult situations with confidence requires to master one emotion: enthusiasm. As you know already, asking yourself better questions is more effective then any answer you will ever get from the most qualified council or experts. The one question that really worked for me when nothing else did was:

“What Can I Do Today to Spark My Enthusiasm and Keep It Alive, Despite Conflict and Chaos?”

In times when everything feels like it’s falling apart, finding ways to rekindle enthusiasm may feel nearly impossible. Whether in our personal lives or the world around us, conflict and chaos can drain our energy and hope. Yet, even in the midst of turmoil, science shows that we have the capacity to spark and sustain enthusiasm. By understanding a bit about how our brains work and intentionally shaping our daily habits, we can cultivate a mindset that keeps strength active, no matter the challenges.

Understanding the Brain’s Response to Conflict

Our brains are wired for survival, which means that in uncertain or chaotic situations, they naturally trigger a “fight-or-flight” response. This response is designed to keep us safe, but it can also cause heightened anxiety and stress, dampening our enthusiasm. When we’re stuck in survival mode, the brain prioritises threats over creativity, making it difficult to find motivation or joy.

The prefrontal cortex—the area of the brain responsible for complex thought, planning and emotional regulation—also tends to shut down under stress. As this part of the brain quiets, the amygdala, which is linked to emotions and fear, takes over. When this happens, it becomes much harder to focus on positive thoughts, engage in forward-thinking activities, and sustain enthusiasm.

The Science of Positive Emotions

Fortunately, research on neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire itself—shows us that we have the power to shift our mindset, even in tough times. Enthusiasm is fueled by the brain’s dopamine system, often referred to as the “feel-good” chemical. When dopamine is released, it promotes feelings of pleasure, motivation and reward, which in turn can elevate our enthusiasm. Studies show that small actions, like setting a small goal or practicing gratitude, can stimulate dopamine release.

Additionally, research into positive psychology reveals that experiencing small moments of joy, connection, or progress helps counteract stress. These small bursts of positivity don’t have to be grand; even a quick walk, a shared smile, or a mindful breath can provide a mood boost, releasing endorphins and calming stress hormones like cortisol.

Practical Steps to Spark and Sustain Enthusiasm during Conflict

I remember clearly the day Brexit was made official. It was a day I had dreaded and, at the same time, I trusted our leaders would do the right thing. I watched with sadness how countries once united splintered apart, carrying an aftermath of tensions, unexpected divisions and painful misunderstandings in its wake. Friends, neighbours and colleagues who once shared common ground and a cooperative spirit seemed, overnight, to lose sight of what we had in common. Around me, the decision triggered a wave of attitudes and narratives that I had never anticipated—driven by fear and anger rather than hope and possibility.

Brexit came to symbolise more than just a geopolitical Rubicon; it became a moment of painful realisation about how fragile harmony can be. The cost of Brexit wasn’t simply in trade agreements or border policies—it was in the sudden shifts in personal relationships and the quiet erosion of progress for a collective, bright future. People I had known for years seemed different, somehow hardened by the polarisation.

And, like so many, I was left to grapple with the emotional impact of this change while watching my own lifestyle grow more expensive, my horizons shrinking every day. But in the face of these limitations, I realised I had a choice to make. I could let the resentment and sadness consume me, or I could start re-imagining my life with a new enthusiasm and clarity.

When the environment around me had grown toxic, I had the choice to free myself from it, creating a healthier internal world to carry me forward. I began to understand that while I couldn’t undo the decision made by a majority or its effects, I could build a personal space where I focused on inspiring our readers to make daily choices and that decision brought me closer to a life of meaning and joy.

If you are asking yourself ” How can I spark enthusiasm, even in chaos?” here are a few science-backed techniques to tap into your brain’s natural mechanisms and reclaim the strength to re-imagine your life during conflict and thrive , step-by-step.

Reconnect with Your Purpose, Daily

In chaotic times, it’s easy to feel disconnected from our sense of purpose. Research shows that individuals who connect their daily tasks with a larger goal experience higher motivation. Take a few moments each morning to reflect on why your work or life’s mission matters to you. Even amid conflict, reconnecting with your purpose can provide a sense of grounding and spark renewed energy.

Set Micro-Goals and Celebrate Small Wins

Large goals can be overwhelming, especially in challenging times. Instead, break down your day into micro-goals—small, manageable steps. Each time you complete one, celebrate it, even if it’s a simple internal acknowledgment. Accomplishing these small goals releases dopamine, keeping the brain motivated and enthusiastic to tackle the next step.

Enthusiasm “Dopamine Drip”

Dopamine is often released in short bursts, so look for small actions that can consistently provide these “drips” of enthusiasm. This could include listening to a favorite song, taking five deep breaths, journaling a gratitude list, or watching a short inspirational video. By engaging in activities that release dopamine, you create a buffer against the stress of chaos.

Find a Positive Emotional Anchor

Who in your life inspires you the most? For me Dame Neslyn and her latest books always inspire my courage and sparks my enthusiasm for what’s next. The upcoming Leading with Courage Workshop could be that anchor you need right now. The event will offer interactive sessions, case studies from courageous leaders, reflective exercises and a live Q&A.

Finding an anchor is like finding north when you don’t know where you are. Who is your North Star? If you don’t have a real friend to be your anchor, imagine one or choose a memory or vision that fills you with warmth, joy or gratitude and consciously call it to mind whenever you feel overwhelmed. An emotional anchor is a thought, memory, or image that brings you peace and positivity. Studies show that positive visualizations help reduce stress and foster optimism. This taps into the brain’s capacity for emotion regulation, helping you regain control over your response to stress.

Surround Yourself with Positive Energy

When we’re stressed, we tend to isolate ourselves, but this is when support matters most. Engaging with others, even through a quick text or call, can boost oxytocin levels, another feel-good chemical linked to trust and bonding. Oxytocin counteracts stress and promotes feelings of enthusiasm and security. Reach out to someone who uplifts you and share a positive thought or intention.

Engage in “Flow” Activities

“Flow” is a mental state where we’re fully immersed in an activity that challenges us just enough to stay engaged, without feeling overwhelmed. According to neuroscientist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, achieving flow promotes happiness and intrinsic motivation. Find an activity, like reading, cooking, or exercising, where you can immerse yourself fully. The mental engagement will lift your spirits and enhance motivation.

Create a Gratitude Habit

Gratitude is scientifically proven to improve emotional resilience and elevate mood. Each evening, jot down three things you’re grateful for. Focusing on gratitude helps shift attention from what’s going wrong to what’s still positive, releasing serotonin and dopamine. Even in chaotic times, this shift builds a foundation of optimism and enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm- a Way of Life

Maintaining enthusiasm in the midst of chaos isn’t easy, but it’s within our reach. By understanding how the brain works and embracing small, intentional practices, we can spark and sustain motivation, even when things feel out of control. Enthusiasm doesn’t always come naturally in tough times; instead, it can be a choice we make each day—a choice to seek positivity, embrace purpose, and find moments of joy, however small.

Remember, each day is an opportunity to realign with what matters most to you, to take small actions that foster positive energy, and to stay connected to hope. Even in the most turbulent times, enthusiasm can light the way forward with confidence. If you’re at a breaking point, you’re not alone, I’ve been there myself and know this: there is a path forward. Finding strength and inner alignment to protect your well-being is a choice. Consider conflict and chaos your best time to start cultivating positive energy, setting boundaries that protect your wellbeing and course – correct your destiny.

Do you want to share your story and inspire our readers ? Know that  YOUR EXPERTISE is paving the way for a fairer, happier society.