---
title: "Writing Has Healing Powers: How A Woman Found A New Life Purpose When Walked Away From Old Trauma"
description: Stephanie Harmon’s story explores childhood trauma, emotional healing and self-therapy, offering insight into courage, boundaries and authentic wellbeing
author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief)
date: 2025-07-11T07:18:35.000Z
updated: 2026-09-24T22:52:26.261Z
canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/writing-has-healing-powers-how-a-woman-found-a-new-life-purpose-when-walked-away-from-old-tra
image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/yodfxgfkqo0.jpg
categories: Wellbeing
content_type: Profile
region: Global
publication: Rich Woman Magazine
about:
  - type: Person
    name: Sherrie Allsup
---

The date was etched in Stephanie Harmon’s mind long before she found herself sitting in a lawyer’s office. Exactly one year after her father’s death, she filed for divorce. The timing wasn’t planned – it was simply when she finally had the courage to act on what she’d known for months.

‘That moment marked the beginning of a complete shift,’ Harmon reflects. ‘The start of waking up to the life I truly deserved.’ But getting to that office chair meant years of ignoring red flags, breaking her own boundaries and staying trapped in patterns that started long before she ever said ‘I do’.

## The Root of Things

Harmon’s story mirrors what [research consistently shows](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1519699/full) about childhood trauma and adult relationships. Early experiences of [loss and instability](https://richwoman.co/article/gisele-pelicot-refused-to-let-shame-be-hers-to-carry) don’t just fade away – they shape how we trust, how we connect and what we accept as normal in love.

For Harmon, those patterns led to what she now calls a volatile and unstable marriage, characterised by financial stress and betrayal. The title of her chapter in the bestselling anthology[ ‘Whispers of the Soul’](https://amzn.to/45YYhnj) puts it bluntly: ‘The Wounded Little Girl Attracts the Wounded Little Boy.’

It’s a harsh truth that [many women recognise](https://richwoman.co/article/no-contact-a-new-narrative-is-the-doormat-mom-letting-go-or-going-viral). [Studies indicate](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5064817/) that childhood trauma contributes to long-term difficulties in adult relationships, with survivors often finding themselves in unstable partnerships that echo their early experiences.

## Stuck in a Pattern

Seeing red flags and ignoring them isn’t about stupidity – it’s about survival mechanisms learned so early they feel like truth. Harmon describes the experience of losing trust in herself, that gradual erosion that happens when you keep overriding your own instincts.

The [Psychology Today research](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202407/the-impact-of-childhood-trauma-on-adult-relationships) on trauma’s impact on relationships explains this pattern: survivors often remain in survival mode, leading to behaviours like impulsiveness and self-sabotage that interfere with healthy connections.

For Harmon, this meant staying in a marriage where financial stress and betrayal became the norm. The emotional cost wasn’t just the relationship itself – it was the growing distance from her own judgement, her own voice telling her something was wrong. Learning to [find your voice after silence](https://richwoman.co/article/finding-your-voice-after-silence-an-honest-blueprint-for-self-worth) becomes essential when you’ve spent years dismissing your own instincts.

## The Breaking Point

There’s something about anniversaries that makes the past feel immediate again. For Harmon, her father’s death anniversary became the catalyst for finally taking action. Not because she’d figured everything out, but because she couldn’t ignore her own truth any longer.

This aligns with what mental health experts observe about [women leaving difficult marriages](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/when_is_divorce_good_for_women) – the decision often comes not from having a perfect plan, but from reaching a point where staying feels impossible.

Harmon’s honesty about not knowing what came next sets her story apart from the typical ‘I left and everything was perfect’ narrative. She describes the doubts, the sense of being lost, the shock of finally taking a step towards change. This uncertainty is what makes her account feel real rather than rehearsed.

## Finding a Different Path

After her divorce, Harmon turned to energy-based healing practices including Reiki, sound healing and crystal therapy. While some might dismiss these as mystical, [clinical research suggests](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5871310/) that Reiki can be effective for reducing pain, anxiety and depression whilst improving sleep quality, likely through activation of the body’s relaxation response.

Her clients notice the difference in her approach. One testimonial describes how ‘Stephanie is truly present with her clients and tailors each session to their conscious and subconscious needs. Her intuition gives clarity and insight to past and current obstacles a person may be experiencing.’

Another client, who had never experienced Reiki before, explains: ‘Steph immediately made me feel very comfortable and it quickly became apparent that healing is something she cares deeply about. With several sessions now under my belt, I’m now certain that [everyone can benefit in some way](https://richwoman.co/article/beyond-degree-the-most-successful-women-are-earning-respect-with-their-stories-not-their-cred) from Reiki. Pair that with Steph’s compassionate and down-to-earth approach and it forms the perfect combination.’

What emerges from these accounts isn’t someone pushing mystical healing, but someone who understands what it feels like to need help and meets people where they are. Her approach mirrors [authentic self-therapy practices](https://richwoman.co/article/why-the-art-of-self-therapy-speaks-to-women-tired-of-shortcuts-real-stories-real-healing) that prioritise genuine healing over quick fixes.

## Writing and Giving Back

Harmon’s chapter in ‘Whispers of the Soul’ is part of a growing movement of women writing honestly about leaving difficult marriages. Similar to memoirs like Lyz Lenz’s [‘This American Ex-Wife’](https://richwoman.co/article/everyday-poems-perfect-for-busy-women-who-crave-connection-from-within), these accounts focus on the emotional complexity of endings rather than smooth success stories.

She’s also featured in ‘The Call Within: Finding Purpose and Sparking Meaning’, both anthologies achieving international bestseller status. The proceeds from both books benefit the [Brighter Healing Foundation](https://brighterhealingfoundation.org/), a nonprofit that makes holistic wellness more accessible through retreats and programmes supporting mind, body and spirit wellness.

This connection between personal healing and community support reflects Harmon’s understanding that recovery isn’t a solo journey. The foundation’s mission of bringing [light, healing and hope](https://richwoman.co/article/it-s-personal-judy-crowell-on-talking-about-hair-loss-finding-solutions-and-feeling-like-your) to those in need extends the ripple effect of her own healing.

What makes Harmon’s account compelling isn’t that she’s ‘fixed’ or that she has all the answers. It’s that she’s still in process, still committed to honesty about what healing actually looks like day to day.

Her approach to her healing practice reflects this ongoing nature of growth. She believes that deep change begins when people start listening to their own [soul’s whispers](https://richwoman.co/article/feeling-good-and-happy-learning-to-say-no-and-the-quiet-danger-of-self-betrayal). It’s a philosophy born from her own experience of learning to trust herself again after years of ignoring her inner voice. Like [women who carry emotional weight silently](https://richwoman.co/article/quiet-strength-why-unpacking-the-weight-within-feels-like-finally-letting-your-guard-down), Harmon understands the courage required to [leave your past behind](https://richwoman.co/article/gladys-martin-rising-from-the-ashes-with-fierce-honesty-in-i-am-phoenix-rising) where it belongs.

## The Reality of Walking Away

Circling back to that anniversary date, what strikes you most about Harmon’s story isn’t the dramatic moment of filing papers. It’s the ordinary courage required to [choose uncertainty over familiar pain](https://richwoman.co/article/from-burnout-to-balance-how-sound-therapy-helped-a-hospice-nurse-heal-herself), to bet on herself when she wasn’t sure what that self looked like anymore.

Her story offers something more valuable than inspiration – it offers [recognition](https://richwoman.co/article/empathy-at-the-heart-how-amy-peterson-is-rewriting-the-rules-of-legacy-building). For anyone who’s ever ignored their own red flags, stayed too long or wondered if they can trust their judgement again, Harmon’s journey suggests that the answer isn’t perfection. It’s the willingness to keep [listening to yourself](https://richwoman.co/article/10-things-you-can-do-to-protect-yourself-and-your-children-from-their-narcissistic-father), even when your voice feels unfamiliar.

The grace she found wasn’t in [having all the answers](https://richwoman.co/article/christina-marullo-found-her-strength-by-letting-go-of-control), but in facing her own story honestly. That’s the kind of healing that doesn’t end with a book chapter – it continues in every interaction with clients who need someone to understand what it feels like to [become unapologetically yourself](https://richwoman.co/article/alison-weihe-a-woman-who-is-finally-unapologetically-herself) after years of being someone else.