---
title: "When ‘Having It All’ Feels Hollow: How Ashly Balza Calls Women Back to Themselves"
description: Ashly Balza urges women carers to ease burnout and reclaim identity with self-care. Try micro-boundaries, naming feelings and a breathing check-in today.
author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief)
date: 2025-11-21T17:16:35.000Z
updated: 2026-09-07T12:24:09.481Z
canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/when-having-it-all-feels-hollow-how-ashly-balza-calls-women-back-to-themselves
image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/ashly-balza-book.webp
categories: Self-Care
content_type: Interview
region: Arizona
publication: Rich Woman Magazine
about:
  - type: Person
    name: Ashly Balza
    description: "Ashly Balza, known as The Self-Care Mama , is a Certified Lifestyle and the creator of The Return to Self Method, a powerful mentorship experience designed to guide high-functioning women through burnout and come home to themselves.\n\nWith years of experience guiding women through identity loss, emotional fatigue, and major life transitions, Ashly is passionate about helping women reclaim their energy, clarity, and confidence. Her work isn’t about surface-level self-care—it’s about deep, lasting transformation from the inside out.\n\nThrough The Return to Self Method , Ashly mentors women to rediscover who they are beneath the roles they’ve been performing. She offers tools for setting boundaries, restoring mental and emotional balance, and designing a lifestyle that honors their true identity—not just their to-do list."
    url: https://www.selfcaremamamentorship.com/
---

On 7 November in Mesa, Arizona, certified lifestyle coach [Ashly Balza](#about-ashly-balza) stood before an audience of women at the Million Dollar Mingle Weekend and asked a question many already knew the answer to: ‘Have you ever looked successful on the outside but quietly felt like you were losing yourself on the inside? That was me.’

![Ashly Balza](https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/ashly-balza-head-shot.png)

Balza, known as ‘The Self-Care Mama’, was addressing a problem familiar to women who’ve ticked every box (career, family, responsibilities managed) yet feel unrecognisable to themselves.

## The Problem Many Already Recognise

Women are carrying more than ever, often invisibly. A [November 2025 report from Guardian Life](https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/number-of-full-time-workers-who-are-juggling-caregiving-responsibilities-has-increased-by-double-digits-even-as-more-women-leave-the-workforce-302619200.html) found a 13% rise in full-time workers juggling caregiving responsibilities since 2019. Add workplace pressure (roughly [one in four US workers report stress, anxiety or depression](https://www.inc.com/kaylawebster/how-to-help-your-stressed-out-workforce-with-mental-health-support/91268300) affecting work, according to research cited by Inc) and the conditions for identity erosion become clear.

[Caregiving and overcommitment](https://richwoman.co/article/judy-herman-caregiver-burnout-dolly-parton) don’t just increase pressure. They reduce opportunities for self-definition. Women taking on dual caregiving roles report [significantly higher levels of stress and depressive symptoms](https://www.apadivisions.org/division-20/publications/newsletters/adult-development/2020/04/caregiving-older-adults) compared to men, according to the American Psychological Association. Female caregivers—particularly those caring for both children and ageing parents—experience [acute feelings of isolation, grief and guilt](https://richwoman.co/article/the-loneliness-pandemic-learning-to-feel-good-and-happy-again).

When every day is defined by [what others need](https://richwoman.co/article/why-cultivating-alignment-instead-of-chasing-after-happiness-helps-your-wellbeing-and-relatio), the answer to ‘who am I?’ becomes harder to locate.

> **The most powerful version of success isn’t about doing more – it’s about being whole.”**
> 
> — Ashly Balza

## What Ashly Balza Said and Why It Resonated

Ashly Balza, a certified lifestyle coach and speaker, addressed the Million Dollar Mingle Weekend event hosted by former NFL player AC Caswell. She shared the stage with influential speakers including Forbes Riley and Maria Wilson, but her directness resonated immediately.

‘I built a life that looked good on paper, but I couldn’t recognise the woman living it,’ Balza told the audience. Her mission, as she described it, centres on [helping women reclaim who they truly are](https://richwoman.co/article/alison-weihe-a-woman-who-is-finally-unapologetically-herself) and live from purpose, peace and alignment.

Balza refers to her approach as the [Return to Self Method](https://freegiftwithselfcaremama.com/reclaimidentity), designed to help women break burnout cycles and reclaim lost identity. She didn’t promise a quick fix or a perfect routine. She offered something simpler: permission to stop doing more and start returning to what’s underneath.

## What Identity Reclamation Looks Like in Practice

Reclaiming yourself doesn’t require a life overhaul. It starts with noticing what’s been lost and protecting small pockets of time to reconnect.

**A one-week identity audit.** Spend five minutes each evening noting the roles you filled that day—mother, colleague, carer, partner. Then ask: where was I in this? What felt like me and what felt performed? By the end of the week, patterns emerge.

**Micro-boundaries.** Pick one daily boundary that protects time for yourself. It could be 10 minutes before the household wakes or refusing to check emails after a set hour. The size matters less than the consistency.

**Naming practice.** Each day, name one feeling and one need aloud or in writing. ‘I feel overwhelmed. I need quiet.’ Research on [emotional competencies and self-regulation](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01748/full) shows naming feelings reduces their intensity and helps prevent burnout.

**Reclaiming ritual.** Before starting the day, take two minutes for a breathing check-in. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six. It’s accessible for busy caregivers and creates a moment that belongs only to you.

These steps don’t demand perfection. They demand presence.

## Why This Work Matters

You might benefit from identity reclamation if you recognise these signs: you feel unrecognisable to yourself, even when life looks orderly. Regular exhaustion persists despite accomplishments. Resentment builds about hobbies or interests you’ve abandoned. [Emotional numbness replaces feelings](https://richwoman.co/article/the-feeling-you-can-t-share-living-through-nulling-out) you used to have.

For each sign, try one small experiment. If you feel unrecognisable, write down three things you liked about yourself five years ago. If exhaustion dominates, take one thing off tomorrow’s list without explanation. If resentment lingers, spend 15 minutes this week doing something purely for enjoyment. If numbness sets in, name one emotion before bed.

Small actions create pathways back to yourself.

## What to Do Next

If Balza’s message resonates, start with one step this week. No grand commitments, no pressure to fix everything at once.

Balza’s work centers on guiding high-functioning women through identity loss and burnout. Through her coaching practice as The Self-Care Mama, she offers one-on-one mentorship and her signature Return to Self Method—a structured approach to help women reconnect with who they are beneath the roles they’ve been performing.

For additional support, consider local caregiving resources or mental health services. The [American Psychological Association](https://www.apa.org) offers research and resources on caregiving stress and identity.

Balza put it simply at the close of her talk: ‘When life feels out of control, the answer isn’t doing more—it’s returning to who you are underneath it all.’

This week, consider [one small action](https://richwoman.co/article/what-happens-when-you-stop-chasing-wellness-and-start-listening-shilpi-das-on-the-healing-pow). Not a promise to transform your life, but a quiet step towards recognising yourself again.

**About Ashly Balza**

Ashly Balza, known as The Self-Care Mama , is a Certified Lifestyle and the creator of The Return to Self Method, a powerful mentorship experience designed to guide high-functioning women through burnout and come home to themselves.

With years of experience guiding women through identity loss, emotional fatigue, and major life transitions, Ashly is passionate about helping women reclaim their energy, clarity, and confidence. Her work isn’t about surface-level self-care—it’s about deep, lasting transformation from the inside out.

Through The Return to Self Method , Ashly mentors women to rediscover who they are beneath the roles they’ve been performing. She offers tools for setting boundaries, restoring mental and emotional balance, and designing a lifestyle that honors their true identity—not just their to-do list.

[Website](https://www.selfcaremamamentorship.com/)