---
title: "The Unapologetic Guide to Living Longer: 7 Habits Women Choose for Themselves"
description: Speaking up, self-compassion, time alone, nature, dancing and the arts are linked to a longer, healthier life. Seven habits to choose for yourself.
author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief)
date: 2026-11-09T10:12:29.428Z
updated: 2026-11-09T10:12:29.447Z
canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/unapologetic-guide-to-living-longer-habits-for-women
image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/pexels-12086689.webp
categories: Wellbeing, Health
content_type: Guide
region: Global
publication: Rich Woman Magazine
schema_type: Article
---

Longevity is usually sold to you as something to buy: a supplement, a gadget, a test, a programme. The evidence points somewhere simpler. Some of the habits most closely linked to a long and healthy life cost little or nothing, and many women have spent decades denying themselves those habits out of guilt.

Saying what you think, resting when you are tired, spending an evening alone, dancing in the kitchen, buying a theatre ticket for one: women are raised to treat these as extras, to be earned once everyone else is looked after. The research on ageing treats them as health. These seven habits are yours to choose, and none of them needs anyone's permission.

The physical foundations still matter, and we covered them in our guide to [staying healthy for longer](https://richwoman.co/article/womens-longevity-7-ways-to-stay-healthy-for-longer): strength training, protein, sleep and knowing your numbers. This guide is about the choices that sit alongside them.

## Say What You Think

Women who usually kept their feelings to themselves during disagreements with their husband had four times the risk of dying over ten years, compared with women who spoke up, in a long-running study of married couples. The gap held after blood pressure, cholesterol, smoking and other standard risk factors were taken into account. The same pattern did not appear in men who held back.

Holding back during conflict feels like keeping the peace. The body reads it differently. Swallowed anger and frustration keep the stress system switched on, and a stress response that never switches off wears down the heart, the blood vessels and your mood.

**Your habit:** In your next disagreement, say one true sentence about how you feel, calmly and without apology. 'I see it differently' is a complete sentence. If speaking up in the moment feels impossible, write down what you wanted to say and say it within a day.

## Be as Kind to Yourself as You Are to Others

Midlife women who treat themselves with compassion have healthier arteries. In women with an average age of 59, those who scored higher for self-compassion had thinner artery walls in the neck, an early sign of lower risk of heart attack and stroke. The link held after blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and depression were taken into account.

Self-criticism acts on the body like any other threat, raising stress hormones and keeping your heart rate up. Self-compassion lowers that alarm. It is not the same as letting yourself off the hook. It means responding to your own mistakes the way you would respond to a friend's.

**Your habit:** When you catch yourself thinking 'I should have' or 'how stupid of me', stop and ask what you would say to a friend in the same position. Say that to yourself instead, out loud if you can.

## Take Time Alone Without Guilt

Time alone and loneliness are different things. Loneliness is the painful sense of being cut off from others. Solitude is time on your own, and when you choose it, it restores you. Older adults report feeling more peaceful in their own company than any other age group, and the benefit depends on choice: chosen solitude calms you, while solitude forced on you does not.

Many women spent their thirties, forties and fifties without a single hour that belonged only to them. Time alone gives your attention a chance to recover, your nervous system a chance to settle and your own thoughts a chance to be heard.

**Your habit:** Book one hour a week that belongs to you alone, and protect it as you would a doctor's appointment. Read, walk, sit in a café or do nothing. Check in with yourself afterwards: if you feel calm and replenished, the habit is working. If you feel low and shut out, reach out to someone.

## Spend Time in Nature Every Week

People who spend at least 120 minutes a week in nature are far more likely to report good health and high wellbeing than people who spend none. It makes no difference whether you take the two hours in one long walk or several short ones, and the benefit holds for older adults and for people with long-term health conditions. The gains level off between three and five hours a week.

Parks, woods, beaches, riverbanks and fields all count. Time in your own garden was not included, so the habit asks you to step out of your front door. Most of the visits in this research took place within two miles of home.

**Your habit:** Plan your two hours at the start of each week and spread them however suits you. Go alone if you want to think, or with someone whose company you love.

## Dance Every Week

Among adults over 75, those who danced more than once a week had a 76% lower risk of developing dementia than those who rarely or never danced. Of all the physical activities studied, dancing was the only one linked to a clear drop in risk. Social dancing is also linked to fewer falls, better balance and stronger legs.

Dancing asks your brain to do several things at once: keep to a rhythm, remember steps, move through space and respond to a partner or a room full of people. That combination of movement, memory and company is hard to find in a single activity.

**Your habit:** Join a class in whatever style you have always wanted to try, from salsa and tango to ballroom or line dancing. If the class is not for you, dance at home to music you love, every day if you like. Nobody is watching.

## Feed Your Mind With the Arts

Among adults over 50 in England, those who went to the theatre, concerts, the opera, museums, galleries or exhibitions every few months had a 31% lower risk of dying over 14 years than those who never did. Even going once or twice a year was linked to a 14% lower risk.

Part of the link comes from what the arts do for your thinking, your mood and how active you stay. A night at a concert gets you out of the house, moving, thinking and feeling, often in the company of others.

**Your habit:** Put an arts date in your diary every month. If friends are busy or not interested, go alone. A single theatre seat is often easier to find than two, and a gallery visited alone moves at your own pace.

## Choose a Purpose That Is Yours

A strong sense of purpose is one of the habits most closely tied to a long life, linked to about a 30% lower risk of early death. We looked at the science in our piece on [how a sense of purpose shapes your health and longevity](https://richwoman.co/article/sense-of-purpose-health-longevity).

For many women, purpose has been defined by other people's needs: children, partners, parents, employers. Those roles can give life real meaning, and many women would not give them up. But purpose does not have to be a duty. It can be a project, a craft, a cause, a business or a skill you want to master for no reason other than wanting to.

**Your habit:** Finish this sentence on paper: 'If nobody needed anything from me this year, I would spend my time on...' Whatever you write is a clue to a purpose that belongs to you. Give it one hour this week.

## Living Longer on Your Own Terms

Every habit in this guide asks you to put yourself on the list. That can feel uncomfortable at first if you were raised to come last. The evidence suggests that the discomfort is worth it: the woman who speaks up, rests, wanders, dances and goes to the theatre alone is doing her body and brain a favour.

You do not need to justify any of these choices to anyone. You only need to make them.