---
title: "The Feeling You Can’t Share: Living Through ‘Nulling Out’"
description: Dr Cheryl Jack explores ‘nulling out’—the silent crisis of emotional numbness in high-achieving women—and offers a guide to authentic self-reconnection
author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief)
date: 2025-07-29T16:04:22.000Z
updated: 2026-02-26T22:05:25.752Z
canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/the-feeling-you-can-t-share-living-through-nulling-out
image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/h5xansot2qy.jpg
categories: Wellbeing
content_type: Analysis
region: Global
publication: Rich Woman Magazine
---

She was sitting across from Dr Cheryl Jack, describing her perfect life with mechanical precision. The successful executive had hit every target, exceeded every expectation. Her performance reviews were glowing. From the outside, she embodied success. But as she spoke, Dr Jack recognised something she’d seen before – not the frazzled exhaustion of someone burning out, but something far more unsettling. The woman wasn’t tired. She was empty.

‘She was functioning perfectly, but there was nobody home,’ Dr Jack recalls of that early encounter. ‘It wasn’t a case I could find in any textbook, but I knew exactly what I was looking at because I’d lived it myself.’

Dr Jack doesn’t introduce herself with the usual list of credentials, though after four decades moving between ER rooms and boardrooms, she could. Instead, she speaks with the raw honesty of [someone who’s inhabited that same hollow space](https://richwoman.co/article/feeling-good-and-happy-learning-to-say-no-and-the-quiet-danger-of-self-betrayal). ‘I spent years as a high-functioning machine,’ she admits. ‘On paper, I was thriving. Inside, I was disappearing.’

## The Erasure of Self

What Dr Jack witnessed – and experienced – has a name now. She calls it ‘nulling out’, and her definition cuts to the bone: ‘It’s the erasure of the person you are, leaving behind only a high-functioning machine.’

This isn’t about feeling a bit flat after a busy week. What Dr Jack describes goes deeper than the occasional bout of impostor syndrome or the standard mid-career crisis. For many high-achieving women, [the hidden price of success](https://richwoman.co/article/the-hidden-price-of-success-why-senior-women-are-redefining-achievement-on-their-own-terms) includes a persistent sense of emptiness despite their accomplishments.

‘You can be hitting every metric, exceeding every goal, and feel absolutely nothing,’ she explains. ‘People around you see success. You see a stranger in the mirror who happens to be very good at their job.’

The sensation Dr Jack describes aligns with what psychologists call depersonalisation – feeling detached from oneself and one’s emotions. For high-achieving women facing overwhelming pressure, this detachment can become a protective mechanism that eventually traps them in emotional numbness.

## Why It’s Not Burnout

The world has been talking about burnout for years, but Dr Jack argues we’ve been using the wrong language entirely. ‘Burnout is a crisis of energy. Nulling out is a crisis of the self,’ she states firmly.

Traditional burnout research identifies three core symptoms: emotional exhaustion, depersonalisation and reduced personal accomplishment. Someone experiencing burnout feels drained, overwhelmed, like they’re drowning in responsibilities. Someone who’s nulled out feels nothing at all.

‘When you’re burned out, you’re desperate for rest. When you’re nulled out, rest doesn’t help because the problem isn’t fatigue – it’s that you’ve lost access to who you are,’ Dr Jack explains. While some women find [relief beyond burnout through specific strategies](https://richwoman.co/article/beyond-burnout-3-adrenaline-fatigue-biohacks-for-high-achieving-women), nulling out requires something more fundamental: finding your way back to yourself.

## The Crisis in Plain Sight

‘There is a crisis happening in plain sight,’ Dr Jack observes, though her tone suggests she’s been watching this unfold for years. Through her work, she’s encountered countless high-achievers who’ve mastered the art of performing their lives while feeling completely disconnected from them.

The consequences, she notes, are often dramatic and seemingly inexplicable from the outside. ‘The internal emptiness leads to destructive acts – shattered marriages, reckless financial decisions, professional self-sabotage – in a desperate attempt to feel something real again.’

These aren’t moral failings or character flaws. They’re symptoms of someone trying to shock their system back to life, to break through the emotional anaesthetic that high-functioning nulling out creates. [The weight of carrying emotional numbness](https://richwoman.co/article/quiet-strength-why-unpacking-the-weight-within-feels-like-finally-letting-your-guard-down) while maintaining a successful exterior takes an enormous toll.

## A Framework for Return

Dr Jack’s forthcoming book, ‘Nulling Out: How High Achievers Lose Themselves in Success (And How to Find Your Way Back)’, represents decades of work understanding this phenomenon. More importantly, it offers something she calls ‘a radical act of reclamation without destruction’.

‘Most people think they have to burn their lives down to feel alive again,’ she explains. ‘But that’s not reclamation – that’s just different destruction. The real work is reconnecting with your internal fire without having to torch everything you’ve built.’

Her approach acknowledges what traditional career advice often misses: that success and fulfilment aren’t automatically connected, and that achieving your goals doesn’t guarantee you’ll still recognise yourself when you get there. The process involves [finding your voice after periods of silence](https://richwoman.co/article/finding-your-voice-after-silence-an-honest-blueprint-for-self-worth) and reconnecting with authentic parts of yourself.

## Recognition for Radical Honesty

Dr Jack’s nomination for the 2025 Veblen Directors Programme Leadership Award recognises her work as addressing ‘a critical, timely and necessary contribution to the future of sustainable leadership’. The programme celebrates visionary leadership and values-driven work – exactly what Dr Jack represents.

For her, the nomination isn’t about professional recognition as much as validation of something more personal. ‘For years, I thought what I was experiencing was just the price of success. This work proves that emptiness isn’t inevitable – it’s just what happens when we lose track of who we are in pursuit of what we want to achieve.’

The recognition criteria typically evaluate leadership effectiveness and positive change – qualities that Dr Jack embodies not through traditional business metrics, but through her willingness to name something everyone was feeling but no one was discussing.

## The Way Forward

‘The tragedy isn’t that these people are suffering,’ Dr Jack states with characteristic directness. ‘It’s that they’ve been conditioned to believe their emptiness is the inevitable price of success. My work proves they’re wrong.’

What does reclaiming yourself actually feel like? Dr Jack describes it as [the gradual return of colour](https://richwoman.co/article/beyond-taylor-swift-s-cancelled-what-the-song-says-about-feeling-good-and-happy-when-friendsh) to a world that’s been rendered in grayscale. ‘It’s not about feeling happy all the time or finding some perfect work-life balance. It’s about feeling like yourself again – recognising the person making the decisions, understanding why certain things matter to you, being present in your own life.’

For many women, this journey involves [letting go of external validation](https://richwoman.co/article/relief-for-the-burnout-how-wellness-founders-find-freedom-when-they-let-go-of-sales) and reconnecting with what truly matters. The machine can keep running, but the person doesn’t have to disappear.

For the countless high-achievers who’ve learned to excel while feeling empty, Dr Jack’s work offers something rare: [permission to acknowledge the hollowness](https://richwoman.co/article/the-loneliness-pandemic-learning-to-feel-good-and-happy-again) and a roadmap for finding their way back.

For many high-achieving women, [having it all feels hollow](https://richwoman.co/article/when-having-it-all-feels-hollow-how-ashly-balza-calls-women-back-to-themselves) at times – outward success masking an inner sense of emptiness and disconnection. But as Dr Jack and others demonstrate, restoring self-connection is possible through honest recognition and gentle, persistent steps back to wholeness.

Living in alignment with yourself and your values is possible – and may be a more sustainable foundation for happiness and wellbeing than chasing after the next achievement or accolade.